Friday, December 5, 2008

'Tis The Season for Missing Grandmothers


My Grandmothers -Martha and Dot (left, right). I miss them most during the holidays. Since they moved on, in the same year almost 5 years ago, I've missed them more with each passing holiday season. This election year I felt lonely when Grandma Martha didn't call me ranting her disapproval of Obama, which I know she would have done. I would have freely told her exactly how much I disagreed with her and we would have laughed hysterically about it. We had this understanding that allowed respect, honesty, and openness no matter what.

I missed Grandma Dot after I went back to blond, which I know would have won me her praises. She loathed my hair color experimentation throughout my twenties. Never said it, but I knew it. Only once I asked her, and she admitted that yes, she prefers me blond. I missed her a year ago when I was craving one her cookies. I can't believe I'll never taste one of her chocolate chip cookies ever again! And on Thanksgiving this year, trying to make her corn casserole and destroying it, I wished to be back at her table eating her food.

Two women more different than Martha and Dot I cannot imagine. I miss Grandma Martha's explosive wild laugh and Grandma Dot's quiet teary-eyed hissing.

Martha was passionate, hot tempered, smart, unafraid, unapologetic, honest, independent, humble, grounded and strong. I remember, not too long before her health began to fail, after a visit with her, my mother and I were ordered to take her to the city counsel meeting where she had a few things to say. Oh, how I wish I'd gone in there with her! She had no problem making scenes. Thrived on them, actually. I think it amused her, gave her pure joy. Feather-ruffling was her hobby. People were much too serious and phony for her.

To this day I have no idea what my Grandma Dot's beliefs were about politics or religion. A very quiet, reserved, tactful, diplomatic, mindful woman she was. Always polite, Dot made her opinions known rarely and only in a hushed manner. I know that she had a great many fears and lived cautiously. She was intelligent, thoughtful, knowledgeable, and well-read with a great appreciation for beauty of all sorts: fashion, art, landscapes, food, music. Never wearing her emotions on her sleeve, she was a mystery to me always. I wished to know what she thought about things, wondered how she felt about life. Still do, even more.

Martha and Dot, my beautiful grandmothers, I know you're there. I carry your lessons, your passions, your interests, and your love with me every day and for this we'll never be far apart.

5 comments:

Kimmy said...

Deann that made me cry! I miss them so much too. It's so sad that they were taken from us too early. I will never forget Grandma M yelling at me to take her to Jack in the Box for ice tea with extra lemon or calling me up to laugh with me on the phone. I will never forget Grandma D cookies that came in a shoebox or her "hello" when she answered her phone. I am so blessed that my girls got to know their great grandmothers and they have those memories. They remember swimming at Grandma Dot's pool & eating chips and cream cheese w/salsa and of course kool aid and Grandma Martha sipping hot sauce packets from taco bell and her woody woodpecker laugh!! Thanks Deann that was a nice tribute to them!

Crystal said...

I loved seeing and knowing both of your grandmas! Martha always made me laugh and had the funniest voice. And Dot was so sweet, she was a lot like my own Grandma Wanda.

Anonymous said...

Deann, thank you. That was a pretty tribute to your grandmothers. They would be so happy to hear your feelings for them. I think I was really good about telling them both my feelings while they were here and for that I'm grateful. I miss my mom EVERYDAY and now I'm tearing up so I can't talk about her anymore. And Grandma Dot was a mystery at times but learned by necessity to camo her real self. I'm so thankful for both these women who unconditionally loved their children and helped me be a better mom. I always think about them in heaven and wonder if they're buddies!

lindseyflood said...

Thank you Deann for that reminder of all the wonderful qualities our grandmothers were made of. I have said to so many people that I wish I were older before they both passed away because I know I would have had so many great conversations with them. I will always have my special memories in my heart though!

jewels said...

You are so good with words. That was so beautiful. My grandma's are very differnt like yours. That just brought a bunch of memories flowing. Thanks, and know that I love all those qualites which you posses. I love your passion and tenderness.

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