This Week's Etiquette: Welcoming the Newcomers

We've got newcomers in the neighborhood! I wrote up the welcome letter as soon as I heard and set aside cupcakes from Allie's party to deliver. I was even going to wrap them all pretty to match my stationary. I was feeling so Bree Van de Camp and loooving it! But Chad, bless his heart, made the frosting and, well, my cupcakes weren't very presentable after that. Then I just went on with life and forgot. Shame on me! I'm trying to make my grandmother proud and this does not help. Referring to the etiquette book only made me feel more guilty:

This is long but sooo worth it. I'm italicizing the most important parts.

CALLS ON NEWCOMERS
"This is one of the most widely made calls today in many country and suburban areas. When newcomers move into the house down the road, after giving them a few days to get settled, it is neighborly and friendly to drop in to say hello. Although it's thoughtful to take some small gift of food-some jelly or pickles you've made, for instance-it is not in any way necessary. As with all calls, the middle of the afternoon or early evening is the best time to make calls on newcomers, and you should stay only a few minutes-half an hour at the most. You shouldn't expect refreshments on such a call, by the way. If the housewife is obviously overburdened with hanging curtains or scrubbing woodwork, don't even sit down. Just tell her at the door who you are, and that you just wanted to say hello and welcome her to the community, and ask her over to your house for tea or a drink if you feel like it. She should, properly speaking, return the call within a week or two, even if you don't issue a specific invitation. You may then continue the relationship or not, as you want. You, by the way, as the established member of the community would properly be the first to issue a dinner or party invitation.
In the city, however, calls on newcomers are seldom made. Even if you live in the same apartment building, it doesn't follow that you'll have any contact more intimate than sharing the elevator with the people moving in on the floor below, so there's no reason to call on them.
A woman usually doesn't call on a bachelor, even in a community where newcomer calls are standard. Instead, if she wants to be neighborly, she should invite him to her house by note or phone."

OH yeah, so you can still invite the hot new bachelor over!
I love that I don't have to really stay their friend.
And, a drink?!? Soooo vogue, but not happening in my neck of the woods, not even tea, really. There's always homemade lemonade? Just as wonderful.

I'm off to make pickles now. See you soon newcomers!

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Sundance in the summertime.

Most of my friends and family know this is my favorite place in Utah. If you've ever come to visit me, I've likely taken you there. It might be my favorite place in the world. Robert Redford doesn't know it, but we are soul mates, or we were, in another lifetime when we were the same age. His dream is my dreamy reality. I love him for creating this heaven, and for his movies: The Great Gatsby, The Way We Were (BEST EVER!), Indecent Proposal, ooooooh dreamiest man (second only to Chad of course)! Once, while driving through the parking lot I spotted his flaming red hair. That's been my only sighting of the Sundance Kid in all my years of sundancing.

All pictures in this post were swiped from various places on the internet. Someday I hope to be able to take such beautiful pictures. Is it okay to swipe 'em as long as it'll let ya? I feel so guilty.


The Tree Room. My favorite restaurant in the world. Chad and I celebrate our anniversary here every year. The perfect place to remember the day of our wedding that happened in the neighboring canyon down the road. It's cozy, casually elegant, surrounded by trees outside each huge window, and the divine food is made with creativity and love, it's clear. An experience that goes beyond taste buds, it's food and dining as art, surrounded by nature, and soooooo good for the soul.


This was the outdoor scene I enjoyed while we ate. There
was a string of golden lights hanging from the trees.


And amazing photos like this cover the walls in rustic,
vintage-style frames.


I love walking through here, every time. The hallway of old photos. There are pictures of Willie Nelson and John Denver that make me sooo happy.


The porch outside the deli. Amy and I sat in these
very chairs to enjoy our super yummy sandwiches
last time she was in town.

Summer in Sundance is a dream,
but I CAN'T WAIT for the fall.


Now that is pure magic.
What more could you ask of life?

A Midsummer Night's Dream is playing at the outdoor theatre RIGHT now! Anyone want to join me?

What's your favorite Robert Redford movie? I really must see Out of Africa.

Time For Some Campaignin'! Refreshing Political Satire for Everyone. Hilarious!

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Greetings from Gallup, NM

I'm driving without a camera because I forgot the battery charger. So I'm taking mental pictures: of the gorgeous stained glass, southwestern-style mirror, so elegant in shades of blue and some red, in the hotel lobby where we stayed in downtown Albuquerque last night, the Nuttin' Fancy Cafe in Clarendon, Texas that promises "Dang Good Food!", the tiny pueblo-style, salmon-pink house with the turquoise front door that charmed me as we drove past and reminded me of the New Mexico welcome sign that read Land of Enchantment, and my kids' faces while standing on the window sill of our hotel room, hands and heads against the window pane, wide-eyed and motionless, quietly taking in the nighttime scene of city lights from oh so high up in the sky!

This morning the city of Albuquerque felt a bit lonely and unloved. It was eerily quiet. All I spotted were a few scattered business-folk and tourists walking here and there, one street vendor, one homeless man, and I swear only one pigeon. I enjoyed the Starbucks employees whose faces livened with the greetings and farewells dished out by Allie Rose, and the few customers there who, even in New Mexico look the same as anywhere.

It was good to be in the heart of a city though, however un-bustling. Soooo good to be on a road-trip, especially with my books, my lap-top and crossword puzzles, Chad to answer all my questions with the familiarity of his sunflower seed-eating habit while driving, and children contentedly watching Robots in the backseat. And it will be very, very good to be in Moab, Utah for dinner at Eddie McStiff's! I've perused the menu online and now anticipate some fantastic food in just a few hours! Texas is grand and I do love it greatly, but I sure can't wait to be in the vegetarian-friendly, tree-hugging spirit of Moab! Just can't wait!

Dot's Etiquette -1956

City dresses and country dresses. I wish we still needed to know...

DAYTIME DRESSES

1. Appropriateness. The only thing that needs to be emphasized about daytime dresses is that you should buy what looks well on you, on your particular figure and size, rather than what is being featured in the salons. Also, don't think that because you have a basic color scheme -say, black shoes and purse and hat -you can wear only a black dress. At a New York cocktail party, for instance, so many women invariably wear black that to see a woman in a red dress (or a purple or green one) is remarkably refreshing.

2. For those on a budget. In buying on a budget, remember that clothes with simple lines don't date as fast as those that are intricately styled.

3. Summer Dresses. In summer, country dresses can be just as gay as you like, and city dresses are much less formal than they used to be. Cottons are completely accepted now for city wear and, though dark-colored ones are more practical for the office, there is nothing wrong with bright colors or pastels if you can change often enough to keep them clean. Summer dressy clothes in the city -particularly those worn by young women -are more and more bare and gay, so that nowadays a crowd at a Broadway theatre in August would be practically identical in dress to a crowd at a dinner party in a small town in Iowa.

-from Etiquette: The Complete Modern Guide For Day-To-Day Living The Correct Way
By Frances Benton

May you be ever so bare and gay this summer!

See original post.

Remembering 1994

Finding some of my closest friends from Ricks College recently has instigated a full blown, unexpected search for lost memories. Old journals and pictures are filling the gaps in my long-term memory. I've been staying up late belly laughing over my former self, laughing to tears. I never knew how funny I was! And I don't mean in a clever or witty kind of way, in a sometimes really embarrassing way. I planned to write about some hysterical journal entries soon, but THIS, just can't wait. Tonight I dug up a photo journal I must have created a year or two after this sophomore year, when I was missing these girls and this little, big piece my life. It's just the comments more than the pictures even, that have caused this late night laugh attack! Maybe it's just late, maybe I'm too tired, and maybe it's only funny to myself and my own experiences with these people...Bobbi Jo, Tracy, and Jody -this is for you. And anyone else needing a refresher course in College Life... in the nineties, in Idaho.

Pleeeease note, in italics is my young, very young voice. These do not necessarily represent my current views.

Dee and friends. Rexburg, Idaho.
Ages 18-19.

I always, always wore bright lipstick -red usually , sometimes pink.
This picture made me remember that.


Me and Bobbi Jo -I sure loved this girl, my rodeo
star!

This is Tracy. I loved her. She was the best dancer of us all.

Dang, too small to read unless clicked to size, so just in case...
About girl on the left, I wrote:
I shared a room with Carrie. She was very nice and laughed at me all the time so of course I loved her b/c she thought I was hysterical. From the moment I saw her I knew one day I'd have to give her a make-over and I WOULD make her cool.
And girl in the middle:
I made instant friends with this girl after one long late night talk. I think her name was Mary. I listened to all her problems that night, felt bad, and adopted her into our group of friends.
And girl second from left:
I always got such a kick out of Tracie's hair do. It was just like that every day. (It was really outdated even then). It was okay though, because she was a cowgirl.


The vest I'm wearing in this picture was SO COOL. It was Jody's and everyone always wore it. It was Esprit, and very trendy.


This page is photos from an F.H.E. night.
I was so mad that that girl laid on his lap in that group picture.
Jody and I started isolating and talking about the guy I liked and the dumb girl flirting w/him.
I was sooo excited to be in a picture with him.
I totally had a crush on him...


until the day I saw him wearing this.



I loved Carrie because she stayed up with me the longest...
...at least 'til like 4 a.m. and then she'd have to go to bed.


I loved to play candy poker.


that hair!
This was my pet pinata named Pedro.

The make-over I'd been scheming from the first time I saw her.
Look at the pride in my eyes!


I put on an unbirthday party for all the roommates: invitations, games, the works, and highly encouraged that they all attend.
Tracie really thought this was lame. I'm surprised she actually came! She was always much more mature than the rest of us. She was older and in the nursing program.


These three went to the Boys II Men concert...
Look! There's Jody in the famous vest! Sisterhood of the Traveling Vest...lol!
The girl in the bottom picture was from Waco, TX.
She was very interesting -loved to dress slutty and wear bright red lipstick and she had a missionary she called Todd E. Bear.



I dyed my hair red and had a hair crisis for the next two years because of it.
I remember that hair crisis too too well. It eventually went from pumpkin
to pineapple, just like Frenchie in Grease.


WHY, why are we so cute?!
We'd always say this to each other before going out.
Jody -I miss you. It's hard to believe we could let ourselves lose
touch. I hope to find you soon! I love you!


One more I could not resist even though I should:
Girl not pictured for obvious reasons...
this girl (I forgot her name) she was...slutty and loved black guys and said she tells her mom everything about her sex life. She went tanning like every day.

Two more reasons to drive to L.A.

1-Fish tacos at Taco Surf in Seal Beach. I wasn't there but anything that gets raves out of Chad (the opposite of drama queen) MUST be that good! The recommendation came from my dad. Every time we visit the family in California, not a day goes by without the beloved TACO SURF somehow getting sneaked into the conversation. If we're ever wondering where to eat, it's best not to say it around Papa Surf, or it's his tacos or the highway. So Chad knew just where to take the guys when he was in town, and he was beyond pleased. Now I'm definitely getting some of the infamous tacos next time I'm 10 hours down I 15.

2-Bonbons at MILK, an adorable, corner deli/ice-cream shoppe in West Hollywood. Artie knew just the place to go after our fabulous day in L.A.! We shared an amazing triple chocolate shake, topped generously with whipped cream and the cutest itty bitty chocolate covered malt balls, a yummy veggie sandwich (though, so does not even come close to the wonderment of Staci's now famous veggie sandwiches, but nothing ever will) with tomatoes, roasted red pepper, goat cheese, and BONBONS- the best! Different varieties made fresh, daily. I could say bonbons all day-"just going to Beverly Blvd. for some bonbons"! Now I almost wish I lived there. And we even finished it all off with some homemade butterscotch pudding!!!

thoughts on memorial day

Memorial Day. I was in a conflicted state, stemming from a mixture of deep appreciation for the enjoyments I have and sadness over the enjoyments others do not. It started out happily as ever with consistently light rain, oven keeping me warm enough to allow the windows to stay open so I could smell the rain and enjoy the breeze, while I baked the day away, singing with Judy Garland, Patsy Cline, and Roberta Flack.

Yet soon, my domestic bliss was intruded upon by thoughts of others who were not indulging in such pleasures at the moment. In China, thousands of babies, grandparents, mothers, all the loved and special ones still being frantically searched for with hope only to find a body to bury. Iraq. Another soldier killed, one who loved the children deeply, who said they made it all worth it. Tornadoes right here in the homeland. Families suddenly homeless, possession-less. Eunice Kennedy Shriver, 86, recovering from a stroke, says she still must save Darfur. She doesn't have time to lay around. I am a jobless, healthy, 33 year-old capable person. Why am I not doing anything? I know, I take care of my children but I have hours to spare that are currently being spent blogging, baking, and reading, reading, reading. Not to mention the priority given to catching up on my shows that are maxing out my DVR minutes, while I blog, bake, and read.

There are times when I feel guilty for the enjoyments I have. How can I be happy when I know that at this very moment someone in the world suffers in a way my cognition could never grasp? In the day or two following China's earthquake, Chad and I were having dinner at Cheesecake Factory, our biggest problem in life being how we were going to squeeze an appetizer, entree, and cheesecake into our bellies. Then it occurred to me that at that same moment, in China, mothers were sick to their stomachs with horror, waiting desperately for rescuers to find their missing babies, buried under piles of collapsed homes and schools. In Africa, right now children cry in hunger to mothers who have nothing to offer. I shared this thought with Chad, tears could have welled up. Instead, after only two seconds of contemplation, all was disturbingly forgotten. Back to savoring the eggplant sandwich and fries! I know, really, what could I do to help China right now anyway? What is the point in letting world atrocities and calamities kill your appetite? It's just unsettling to realize how many comforts I take for granted daily. The freedom, safety, and contentment that I did nothing to earn. Perhaps the nagging guilt is my conscience telling me that I can and should do more. But where happiness is reachable, it shouldn't be wasted, because who knows when we will be the ones who suffer beyond measure while people across the globe eat their lobster.

I decided to turn guilt into gratitude and savor the easy, attainable joy in my life now, taking nothing for granted.

Chad and I bought a huge salmon that we were excited to grill on the cedar planks we purchased recently. Now, it doesn't happen often that I cook a huge meal. I don't want to leave the impression that I actually cook every night. I don't even cook most nights. But when I do, it tends to get a bit overboard so we decided to enjoy it with the Doddridge family. We hadn't seen them for way too long, and it was a wonderful visit. There's Julie with Jack and Allie, making fun of my "fancy" cheeses!

My Grandmother's Etiquette

Of course, not all of this stuff is crazy and outdated. Much of it is still very sound advice. Take this bit on dieting, for instance. I have been guilty of thoughtlessly elaborating on my latest diet strategies to people who probably did not appreciate it. Original post is here.

Dieting, while not exactly a habit, is included for convenience in this chapter because, like smoking, drinking, and gum chewing, it requires consideration on the part of the dieter to keep his diet from being a nuisance or a bore to others. The same etiquette might well be applied to people who have allergies.

The points are very simple. Few of your friends want a blow-by-blow description of what you should and shouldn't eat, or how many pounds you have lost or gained. Certainly none of your acquaintances wants the details. So just let your appearance speak for itself, and be satisfied with your own feeling of virtue.

When you are being entertained, feel perfectly free to refuse a dish you can't eat, with a simple, "No, thank you." There's no need for an explanation...

Songs by Artie O'Daly

This is my friend Artie's new CD that I am LOVING. He's written and composed the songs his talented friends Theresa and Matt perform on the CD. I love every song! It's brilliant and inspired. And available on iTunes! Go here to listen. Artie, you're dazzling! SO very talented, driven, passionate... I'm your friend and adoring fan!